The white house announced today that 1 in 5 women will be raped while attending college.
Since credible evidence suggests that only 1 in 1877 women will suffer from the horrible crime while attending college, our reporters have deduced that the current government in the white house is planning to rape the young college women themselves.
|Naturally, our reporters were shocked that the White House and the Obama administration would sink to this level. However, further research indicates that the figures actually came from Joseph Biden, who clearly has some severe psychological issues because of the way he was treated by his female family members in his childhood. Here is an exact quote from this article: "Senator Joe Biden proudly proclaims that he was regularly and severely beaten by his older sister as a child and as an adolescent"|
|This would explain why Joseph Biden would want to inflict such trauma on young college women: revenge. Clearly, Joseph Biden is a sick individual that needs serious counseling and jail time as well. Our psychologists have already tried to contact Joseph Biden, but his secretary said that he was busy raping her, because she was asking for it like a dirty little whore - just like his sister was always asking for it - that dirty little whore.|
|Our team of psychologists, scientists, reporters and editors are all strongly opposed to the rational definition of rape - a violent sexual attack on another human being without that human being's consent (unlike the feminist definition which involves anything to do with a penis or an orifice on a woman's body). Hence, they are all absolutely horrified by the thought of our current government under the rule of Joseph Biden planning to have thousands of women in college raped.|